Well, er, I don't know........

"Svend" (svend) 02/25/2019 at 04:10 • Filed to: None

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73

I came home from work at

Actually, I was going to type some stuff, but now I’m typing. I don’t know what to type.

My mum just died in front of me and just spent the last hour watching four paramedics try to revive her, unfortunately, they couldn’t.

I don’t know why I’m putting this on here, or maybe I do. My mother was all the family I had or wanted. My mother’s side of the family are crap, as is my birth father’s. OPPO is the only thing remotely close to being family.

I have a sister, and we see either other quite often but we are like strangers, simply saying hi, how are you, etc...

Sorry for rambling. 

pip bip - choose Corrour > Svend 02/25/2019 at 04:33

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my condolences to you.

how old was she?

hope you have mates to spend time with.

BvdV - The Dutch Engineer > Svend 02/25/2019 at 04:34

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I’m so sorry to hear this :(

Let me know if I can do anything for you mate . Do y ou still have my e-mail address?

  > Svend 02/25/2019 at 04:40

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Oh mate, I am so so sorry. Apologise for nothing and share as little or as much as will bring you some comfort. We’ve got you   

Cé hé sin > Svend 02/25/2019 at 04:41

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I’m so sorry. I know you mother had a bad time last year and that this was coming but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear.

Chinny Raccoon > Svend 02/25/2019 at 04:46

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Jeez, so sorry to hear about this. Always here if can do anything for you.

CB > Svend 02/25/2019 at 04:47

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I’m sorry to hear that, Svend. My condolences for your loss. Let me know what we can do to help, alright? And take care of yourself.

Svend > pip bip - choose Corrour 02/25/2019 at 05:06

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Thanks mate.

She was 64.

Sh e had a minor heart attack a year last January and had been fine since.

I don’t have mates, there’s acquaintances and some closer than others but I don’t know how to socialise with people and hold conversations other than throw in a word here and there while listening to others talk. 

Wagon Guy drives a Boostang > Svend 02/25/2019 at 05:07

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Oh, wow, geez.. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Svend > BvdV - The Dutch Engineer 02/25/2019 at 05:09

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Thanks mate. It’s appreciated.

Svend >   02/25/2019 at 05:13

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Thanks. This is new to me, if it was a patient of someone I knew, but this is closer to home, well, couldn’t get more closer. 

Svend > Cé hé sin 02/25/2019 at 05:15

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Thank you mate. She improved  quickly and thought it was finished but to be mindful of. 

Svend > Chinny Raccoon 02/25/2019 at 05:17

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Cheers mate. This is new to me and not sure what I do next, go on as normal or what. 

Svend > CB 02/25/2019 at 05:18

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Thanks mate. 

Svend > Wagon Guy drives a Boostang 02/25/2019 at 05:19

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Thank you mate. 

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Svend 02/25/2019 at 05:28

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Sorry to hear that. It’s not like a bunch of anonymous punters on the Internet can do much good for you at a time like this but whatever good we can do...we can only try. Just ask.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Svend 02/25/2019 at 05:43

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Oh friend....I am so sorry to hear this. You have my sincere condolences for your loss.

If there’s anything I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to let me know. You’re more than welcome to my email address if you need to vent - don’t hesitate to ask.

Take care and l ook out for yourself buddy...

Svend > SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media 02/25/2019 at 05:49

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Cheers mate.

I don’t know what else to do really.

Paramedics cleaned up, police came (because unexpected death), private ambulance came for mum, solicitors called, family told (going round to my sister's in an hour to tell her), neighbours all been round offering support, work told I won't be going in, etc... just feel like I' watching it on TV. 

Svend > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 02/25/2019 at 05:53

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Thanks mate.

I’m not sure what else I can do or should be doing.

Thanks you to. 

AdverseMartyr > Svend 02/25/2019 at 05:55

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What! That Sucks! I’m Sorry.

You should definitely take whatever time you need to process this, and if writing on here helps then I think I can pretty confidently say that we are all here for it.

But seriously, that is a major loss, and nothing can prepare you. I would imagine that it is perfectly normal to be in whatever state you are...

and now I’m rambling too.

Svend > AdverseMartyr 02/25/2019 at 06:10

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Thanks mate.

I think I’ve got everything covered and done.

Just about to head round to my sister’s to tell her. It’s not going to be good, my sister and her partner both have special needs.

I'm going to need a few beers tonight. 

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Svend 02/25/2019 at 06:16

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Sorry for your loss. *sends internet hugs*

BvdV - The Dutch Engineer > Svend 02/25/2019 at 06:18

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Don’t hesistate to contact me if you want to talk a bit

And don’t forget that Oppo will also be there for you in these  hard times

Kiltedpadre > Svend 02/25/2019 at 06:19

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I’m so sorry to hear that. You can rant and ramble all you need. We will be here for whatever you need even if it’s just to give you the opportunity to unload whatever may be going through your mind.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Svend 02/25/2019 at 06:24

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Well, crap.

I feel for you. I lost my mom two years ago. My only regret was that I wasn’t in the room when she passed. At least I can say I was there for her last conscious moment.

I hope it helps you some to know that you were loved, she was glad you were there at the end, and the pain will pass. Never completely pass, but it will become bearable.

Know that you have a community here who cares about you. If you can find a group of people like this online, you can find people like us somewhere near you.

Best of luck and blessings to you.

Svend > MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s 02/25/2019 at 06:33

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Cheers mate. 

farscythe - makin da cawfee! > Svend 02/25/2019 at 06:39

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Im so sorry for your loss mate

Captain of the Enterprise > Svend 02/25/2019 at 06:40

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I’m so, so sorry. Please feel free to vent or post here. I’m in the US but if there’s anything I can do let me know. I lost my mother when I was younger and can talk if you want. Again I’m so sorry for your loss. Please remember to try to take care of yourself during this time.

Svend > BvdV - The Dutch Engineer 02/25/2019 at 06:50

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Thanks.

Sister is taking it hardest, she’s getting married in six weeks.

I'm just planning to grab a few beers. 

Svend > Kiltedpadre 02/25/2019 at 06:51

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Cheers mate. 

Svend > TheRealBicycleBuck 02/25/2019 at 06:54

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Thank you mate.

She passed right in front of me, she literally stopped breathing as I was checking how deep/shallow her breathes were. 

Svend > farscythe - makin da cawfee! 02/25/2019 at 06:56

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Cheers mate, I'm going to grab a few beers. 

LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com > Svend 02/25/2019 at 07:01

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My most sincere condolences, Svend. Hopefully she felt at peace by being in  your presence in the last moments.

Svend > Captain of the Enterprise 02/25/2019 at 07:08

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Thank you. 

Just told my sister, she’s getting married in six weeks. We’ve gave her mum’s wedding ring as she would of wanted that.

I think I'm just on auto pilot right now. Talking just makes me cry. 

Monkey B > Svend 02/25/2019 at 07:13

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s orry for your loss...

My GF’s dad is in hospice care and it’s a hard thing to witness. I’ve almost posted a few times to vent, venting is good. 

Svend > LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com 02/25/2019 at 07:15

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Thanks mate.

Captain of the Enterprise > Svend 02/25/2019 at 07:16

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It’s incredibly difficult to process and it just happened. You are very strong for telling her and working through this. It’s okay to get emotional and cry. It might help to get it out too. 

Svend > Monkey B 02/25/2019 at 07:25

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Thanks mate.

Oh man, hospice/palliative care is hard, especially when  Alzheimers /dementia is involved .

BvdV - The Dutch Engineer > Svend 02/25/2019 at 07:28

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Oh I’m very sorry to hear that :(

TheRealBicycleBuck > Svend 02/25/2019 at 07:34

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I wish I could do more than offer words of encouragement.

My mom’s passing was slow. She was dying of cancer. I watched her lose mobility, then stop eating. When the pain got to be too much, she finally asked for the morphine. It wasn’t long after that she had her last lucid moment. She passed a couple of days later when I stepped out of the room to take a break. My aunt was with her.

Talking about it brings back the sadness, but I know I’ll feel better in a little while.

Hang in there. It will take a while, but you’ll eventually get to the same place.

Svend > Captain of the Enterprise 02/25/2019 at 07:37

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Telling my sister was the hardest bit so far.

My sister and her fiancee are both special needs and she just shouted out a few times that she wanted her mum and to see her.

Svend > TheRealBicycleBuck 02/25/2019 at 07:49

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I think maybe mum’s passing so fast either helped or has meant it hasn’t sunk in yet. When she had a heart attack a year ago last Jan uary, it was traumatic seeing so many people rush around her, relay ing information and keeping family up to speed.

I’m sorry to hear about your mum passing. 

fhrblig > Svend 02/25/2019 at 08:04

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I don’t really know what to say other than I’m so sorry for your loss,  and we’ll all be here for you.

WilliamsSW > Svend 02/25/2019 at 08:28

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Oh no. I am so so sorry for your loss. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. 

TheRealBicycleBuck > Svend 02/25/2019 at 08:29

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Having the scare a year ago probably helped you come to terms with what was to come. You knew what to expect the next time it rolled around, so it wasn’t as traumatic. The next few days as you deal with the aftermath are going to be hard. People are going to come out of the woodwork as word gets around. Everyone will be kind, but all of the condolences will hurt because each will be tied to some memory of her, whether yours or theirs. It will all be a blur, so do your best to pay attention, even if it hurts. A year from now, you will be looking back, wondering who all of those people were. Take them up on their offers. It’s as much for them as it is for you.

Thanks for the condolences. It’s hard to lose your mom.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Svend 02/25/2019 at 08:54

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I’m so sorry for your loss, just know we are here for you. 

$kaycog > Svend 02/25/2019 at 09:02

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I’m so very sorry.  We’re here for you.

nermal > Svend 02/25/2019 at 09:08

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Holy crap. Sorry to hear that.

Don’t forget to take care of yourself. 

bob and john > Svend 02/25/2019 at 09:15

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this took a turn I wasnt expecting.

Stay safe, stay busy my friend. My best wishes to you. if you wanna chat, you know how to get a hold of me.

(and in case you dont, my face book : Peter Negru)

shop-teacher > Svend 02/25/2019 at 09:19

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Holy shit man, I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my mom ... wow, almost seven years ago now. Fortunately I didn’t w itness it firsthand like you did and like my sister did with our mom. It’s been hard, but time really does help. I don’t know what else to say, but hang in there. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you need help. Feel free to email me anytime if you want to talk in more depth . Although sometimes that’s the last thing we want to do.  woodshop00@gmail.com

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Svend 02/25/2019 at 09:50

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I’m very sorry for your loss.

May this filthy car give you something else to think about.You are always welcome to vent here.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Svend 02/25/2019 at 10:41

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Just keep on keeping on mate...let yourself grieve, just don’t let it consume you. Your mum wouldn’t have wanted that. :)

We’re here if you need us!

Svend > fhrblig 02/25/2019 at 11:01

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Thanks mate. 

Svend > WilliamsSW 02/25/2019 at 11:02

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Thank you mate. 

Svend > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 02/25/2019 at 11:05

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Thank you. 

Svend > $kaycog 02/25/2019 at 11:06

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Thank you mate. 

Svend > nermal 02/25/2019 at 11:10

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Thank you. 

Svend > bob and john 02/25/2019 at 11:14

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Thanks mate.

Sorry about that. Earlier I wanted to say something to someone, but how do you say it, what do you say?

Thank you. 

Svend > shop-teacher 02/25/2019 at 11:19

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Thank you mate.

It was a total contrast from last year when I got a call at work asking me to go to the hospital.

Total I was about to eat my breakfast when my step father shouted up, went down and she stopped breathing just as I was checking how deep/shallow her breathes were. It was sudden as her eyes were still half open. 

bob and john > Svend 02/25/2019 at 11:20

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there is no nice way of doing it. just make sure that they are ssitting down and that you have a cup of something warm for them to drink.

you have 0 reason to apologize. you need to vent/get it out however you need to. focus on you right now. 

Svend > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 02/25/2019 at 11:21

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Thanks mate.

Lol. Ye', I could really do with cleaning a few cars right now. 

Svend > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 02/25/2019 at 11:24

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Thank you again mate. 

razorbeamteam > Svend 02/25/2019 at 11:52

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So sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how you feel but I hope you know it will get easier. O ppo is always here for you...

Svend > razorbeamteam 02/25/2019 at 12:05

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Cheers mate. It’s appreciated. 

shop-teacher > Svend 02/25/2019 at 12:22

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Oh man, that’s brutal.

Svend > shop-teacher 02/25/2019 at 13:01

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Ye’, it was pretty bad. Then watching four paramedics as they did CPR for about an hour with my step father crying in the next room then doing the most British thing during it all, making a strong but sweet cup of tea for my step father in some form of way to placate him so I could go and answer any questions the paramedics had. 

shop-teacher > Svend 02/25/2019 at 13:16

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That is indeed the most British thing I have ever heard.

Captain of the Enterprise > Svend 02/25/2019 at 17:52

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I’m so sorry

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Svend 02/27/2019 at 10:09

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Somehow I missed this post and just saw it.  I’m so sorry for your loss.  If there’s anything I can do, you’ve always got another friend on this side of the pond.

Svend > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com 02/27/2019 at 10:16

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Cheers mate, appreciated. 

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Svend 02/27/2019 at 11:45

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I have not been here very much lately and just saw this. Very sorry for your loss - my wife had to go through something very similar a few years ago and it is just heart wrenching to think about it. I’m sure it already has been said by everyone, but please let us know if Oppo can do anything -- and I do mean anything -- to help.

Svend > haveacarortwoorthree2 02/27/2019 at 19:32

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Thanks mate, it's appreciated. 

Chariotoflove > Svend 03/01/2019 at 15:59

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I completely missed this. I am devastated for you. Losing my mom or dad is my greatest dread. I’ll be a complete wreck when it happens. I may be in a fetal position for a few days. You’re stronger than I for even being able to type.

God bless, my friend.

Svend > Chariotoflove 03/01/2019 at 16:06

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Thanks mate.

It doesn’t seem real though. It feels like I saw it on a TV show and the subject hit closer to home. But everything else is still the same, cars still move around, the TV still works, people sti ll go to work, etc... it doesn’t seem right.